are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
