Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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