You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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