Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
