I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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