i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
