there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize