i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
