And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
