i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize