also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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