Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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