her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
