I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
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Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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