I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
