he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
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Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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