I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
