New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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