i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
