I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize