Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
