I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
