i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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