its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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