everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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