He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
