dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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