Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
