True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
