with your own penis?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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