Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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