He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
