my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
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We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
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I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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