I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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