YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
How's work?
Spinning.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
