I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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