do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
