none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
