He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
