I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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