Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
