I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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