What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
