..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
