ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
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You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
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So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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