Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We have so much sex to catch up on
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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