I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
handjob tips. give me some.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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