Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize