the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
