This girl is more easily done than said...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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