After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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