I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
