i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
