why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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