So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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