ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
