I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
