told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
