batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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