i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
