Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize