God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
