no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
