She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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