After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize