We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
