We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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