Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
oh god the rape fog is back!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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