So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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