I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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