Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
