We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
