i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize