That's intense
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im holly from the hills drunk
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
