We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
