hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize