did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
